Remember The Men

“All men would be tyrants if they could.”

- Abigail Adams

Written By: John Johannes

About the Author:

John Johannes is a proud graduate from Cove University. After achieving his degree in Finance, he branched off in order to start working for the people as a politician. Johannes has always been a passionate advocate for men’s issues and male civil rights—being a prominent contributor in online spaces such as Reddit and X. Johannes has published several books—including, “Meninism: The First Wave” and “The Men in Women.” He is 6ft tall and single.

Seneca Falls, The Civil Rights Act, “Girl Power,” the “Me Too” movement… What do these all have in common? Could it be that they’re a key part of each wave of feminism? Could it be that they were created to help empower and uplift society’s view on women and their issues? No. Because why would women need these concepts, events, and phrases? Biologically, women are weaker and more nurturing—my father, a very rich and prosperous politician like myself, told me so.

Many may already know that Abigail Adams wrote a letter to her husband asking for him to “Remember the Ladies,” yet most do not know her full quote:

“I desire you would Remember the Ladies, and be more generous and favourable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the Husbands. Remember all Men would be tyrants if they could. If perticuliar care and attention is not paid to the Ladies we are determined to foment a Rebelion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any Laws in which we have no voice, or Representation.”

Abigail Adams, 1776

While she wasn’t wrong that, in the far far future, women’s issues did indeed cause a “rebellion” of sorts, it does make one question exactly what “unlimited power” she is talking about. Men work for the women to have a nice comfortable life. Men love and cherish their wives exponentially and would never abuse the fact that women had no standing in the legal system against them. Especially if they take care to clean the house, make the dinner, and attend to the children. Frankly, it makes me chuckle. And so it did for John Adams as well, as he responded:

“As to your extraordinary Code of Laws, I cannot but laugh.”

[...]

“Depend upon it, We know better than to repeal our Masculine systems.”

John Adams, 1776

Feminism in itself is a puzzling concept in both standing and theory. Really, the men in the past had it right. In fact, one could argue that they were the oppressed peoples. The rules put in place by men were to protect society from the corruption that could happen if, and only if, women were given the freedom they desired. I mean, if women were in charge, then men would be, unbeknownst to the ladies, discriminated against and treated unfairly. Their rights would be revoked and wars would be started… The world would crumble under the frail figure of a bright red high heel. So why do women have rights anyway? That’s a very great question.

Let’s dare to examine a world run only by women. Where men are seen as lesser by the masses. Men would get less pay and less lenience. Maybe even get taxed for products specific only for men. I’d like to call it the blue tax. Thank me later.

One of the first problems we would run into is the fact that women are biologically weaker than men. How would new buildings be built and minerals be mined? What if there’s a fire? Or if the police are needed? What about wars? Who would fight them? Many may argue that “Oh, there’s machines to help out with these problems,” or even, “Oh, women can be just as capable as men to handle these problems.” Some may even point at the women currently helping out in these fields. But what about men? How are women going to be able to complete these strenuous tasks without a man guiding her? Women, with their emotions, would prevent men from helping to handle these situations—trying to protect the men if this were a female-run society. Us men would be forced to stay at home.

Another problem we’d find is the much higher maintenance of women. How would different laws and buildings be structured when the designers need to think of hair products and menstrual cycles? Would—and excuse my language here—tampons, and heating pads be given as a necessity? How would the economy bare this loss? And don’t even get me started on women’s impact on the legal constitutions. If you applied for a job, got hired, but then were asked to carry out tasks near impossible to do without damaging your mental and physical health to the deep, true core, you should still stick it through! Even if it’s hurting sales or lowering employee morale. Even if the work comes out in absolute shambles. Even if the business goes bankrupt. You should keep your company loyalty as I’d say. Same should be said if you were an employer and turns out you hired an unable employee. It’d be wrong to fire them and put them out of a job, even if they’re making yourself deteriorate and your business suffer. I’m sorry, what was I talking about again?

The final issue I’d like to mention today is a women’s emotional state. Simply put, they’re far to emotional to do the grueling decisions a man does for his country. Especially if she’s on her… menstrual cycles… This is especially scary when it comes to international relations. Think of all the deadliest and damaging wars you learned about in school. The Revolutionary War, Civil War, both of the World Wars, the Vietnam War, and the War on Terror… I could go on. That’s not even mentioning the other dangerous wars from countries outside the United States. Let me guess, they were all started by men, right? However, I like to think that if women were in control, these wars would be much worse and more oftenly done on a wider-spread scale.

If women were in control, their biological need to nurture and protect others would come into play, and men would just sit at home all day while women would be out there squabbling other women. The men might even be in charge of the cleaning and cooking… How’s that supposed to happen? Personally, I don’t even know how to fry an egg. Men simply are not wired to do such mundane tasks.

And this is exactly why, when we talk about social rights and women having a place anywhere but in the home, we should consider that maybe, just maybe, we should remember the men in these conversations. Men have been making decisions for centuries with little help of women. God forbid we have a lady calling shots like Eleanor Roosevelt or Michelle Obama. Imagine what harm that could cause?

This satire article is brought to you with much love and sarcasm by Atlas Saavedra. It was originally featured in a magazine from Kravis Changemakers called ‘The Gaze’..