Remembering Vincent Pastore: A Life of Character and Heart

This interview took place in 2021.

Pastore’s final television role was Donnie “Glasses” Sisto on the Amazon Prime series Gravesend. He joined in the second season and will appear in the upcoming third season.

I had the privilege of knowing Pastore beyond his on-screen roles. I met him several times and interviewed him on multiple occasions, often in connection with projects important to him. Each encounter highlighted his warmth, humor, and genuine connection with others.

Our relationship extended beyond interviews. Pastore often invited me to see his band, The Gangster Squad, perform. I appreciated these invitations, as they offered insight into the man behind the actor. He loved music, performing, and being with friends.

One year, Pastore even sent me a Christmas card. This small gesture stood out for its personal touch. In an industry where people often move quickly from one event to the next, Pastore made others feel remembered.

That is the Pastore I want to remember.

Yes, he was the unforgettable Salvatore “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero from The Sopranos. Yes, he had an extraordinary career in film, television, and theater. But there was so much more to him.

He was an actor dedicated to his craft, a teacher committed to supporting the next generation, a musician, a veteran, a philanthropist, a father, a friend, and someone who believed in giving back.

When I interviewed Pastore in 2021, none of us knew that conversation would one day become a memory of a man who was no longer with us. At the time, he was full of energy and plans. “I feel good,” Pastore told me. “I'm happy to be alive (despite losing loved ones to COVID). I'm happy to be working with my acting group, happy to be doing my podcast.”

Today, his words carry new significance.

Watching that interview now feels like opening a time capsule. Pastore laughs, tells stories, and discusses his students, career, charitable work, friends, and future goals. For millions, he will always be remembered as Big Pussy.

Personally, there was another side to Pastore. He invited you to see his band, sent you a Christmas card, welcomed you into his world, and made you feel like you mattered—whether as an actor or, in my case, a reporter.

The Actor

Pastore's acting career was a remarkable journey.

He became internationally recognized for his portrayal of Big Pussy on The Sopranos, earning a Screen Actors Guild Award as part of the show's ensemble. But his career extended far beyond the HBO phenomenon.

Pastore worked in film, television, and theater for decades, appearing in productions such as Goodfellas, Carlito's Way, Gotti, Bullets Over Broadway, Hawaii Five-0, and many others.

He had recently worked on The Birthday Cake, alongside Val Kilmer, Ewan McGregor, Lorraine Bracco, and Ashley Benson. The role unexpectedly grew from several pages of dialogue to approximately 40 pages after Kilmer's character lost his voice in the story. Pastore recalled using large cue cards on set to manage the expanded dialogue, but eventually no longer needed them.

That story perfectly captured Pastore's attitude toward acting: you work, you learn, you adapt, and you get the job done.

He wasn't content to rest on the success of The Sopranos. He wanted to continue acting and, especially, return to the stage. “I love stage work,” he told me.

For Pastore, theater offered something television and film could not: the immediate connection between actor and audience.

The Acting Coach

Perhaps one of the most beautiful parts of Pastore's legacy is the work he did with aspiring actors.

He returned to HB Studio, the school where he had once studied, and began teaching workshops. For him, it was a full-circle experience. “This would be a dream because that's where I started studying,” he said.

Pastore believed strongly that actors needed training.

His advice was direct:

“You gotta have technique. You gotta have training.”

He compared acting school to training for a fight. You wouldn't step into a boxing ring without preparing, he explained, and acting was no different. But Pastore didn't believe aspiring actors should hide in a classroom forever. He encouraged them to get on sets, do theater, observe other actors, and learn by experience. “Get on the set. Learn.”

His lessons weren't just about memorizing lines. They were about understanding the craft and learning how to conduct yourself professionally.

Actor Thomas Joseph Pryor, a former student who studied in Pastore’s workshop for five years, recalled something Pastore told a student that stayed with him. Pastore said, “You want to be an actor, get on this stage and be an actor, no excuses.” Pryor recalled how he felt hearing that; he said: “he was tough when he needed to be, and it was done out of love and belief for the actor.”

And there was another lesson that mattered deeply to Pastore: be patient with people who are just beginning. He remembered what it was like to be inexperienced. He told his students that if you give people the love and attention you once wished you had received, it can make a difference.

That philosophy says as much about the man as it does about the teacher.

Advice to the Next Generation

When I asked Pastore what advice he would give aspiring actors, his answer was unmistakable:

Study. Work. Observe. Don't quit.

He wanted young actors to understand that talent and appearance weren't enough. The industry needed to see what you could do. He encouraged actors to perform in theater, pursue independent projects, learn on sets, and keep developing their skills.

He also believed strongly in observing. Pastore shared the story of actors who would sit in classes to watch and learn. He encouraged his students to do the same. “You're going to learn from others' work.”

And he practiced what he preached. Even when students needed help preparing for an audition, Pastore was willing to sit down with them and work through it.

“I’m here for my students,” he told me.

A Man Who Gave Back

Behind the tough-guy image was a man with an enormous heart.

During his appearance on The Celebrity Apprentice in 2008, Pastore helped raise more than $50,000 for the Les Garde Foundation. This cause became a personal connection through his former wife Nancy's late husband, Mitchell, who died of pancreatic cancer.

The gesture wasn't simply charitable. It was deeply personal. Pastore spoke about Mitchell as someone who had become an important part of his family and a wonderful stepfather to his daughter.

For Pastore, giving back was often rooted in relationships.

Fighting for Parkinson’s Research: A Cause Close to Pastore’s Heart

His connection to the Light of Day Foundation began through music, friendship, and the New Jersey concert scene, but it became much deeper when Pastore realized how closely the organization’s mission was tied to his own family. “I lost my mom to Parkinson’s,” he told me during our 2021 interview.

Those words were simple, but the reason behind them was nothing but. For Pastore, Parkinson’s wasn't an abstract illness affecting people he didn't know. He had watched someone he loved face it. That personal experience gave him a reason to become involved with a cause that was working to make a difference for families facing the same devastating disease.

Pastore’s introduction to Light of Day came through his long-standing relationships in the music world.

He told me about Tony Amato, who was connected to Stone Pony in Asbury Park and had performed at Pastore’s nightclub. Through Tony, Pastore was introduced to Bruce Springsteen and Patti Smith and became involved with the Light of Day events.

What initially began as a music event grew into something much larger. Pastore explained that Bruce Springsteen participated in the concerts and that he and Gary U.S. Bonds had hosted portions of the events. Pastore became part of that community, surrounded by musicians, performers, and people who were coming together for a cause.

Then he learned more about what the organization represented. The foundation's work centered around Parkinson’s disease, and Pastore immediately recognized the personal connection.

He also learned about Bobby Benjamin, whose battle with Parkinson’s was central to the charity’s mission. Benjamin had worked for Billboard and, like Pastore, had grown up in New Rochelle. That detail struck Pastore. He had grown up in the same community. He understood the loss of a mother to Parkinson’s. And suddenly, this wasn't simply another charitable event. It was his cause. “I belong with this charity,” Pastore said.

A Veteran Who Never Forgot Those Who Served

Vincent Pastore's commitment to veterans was another important part of his life. According to his obituary, Pastore served in the U.S. Navy during the Vietnam War from 1964 to 1967, and his military service was later remembered as an important part of his life. He also devoted years to supporting fellow veterans.

During our 2021 interview, he told me about his work with Disabled American Veterans. What began as required community service became something much more meaningful. He completed 72 hours, spending time with veterans, talking with them, and helping wherever he could.

But when those hours were over, Pastore didn't leave. He stayed. He became a volunteer and continued working with veterans for years.

He also brought his love of theater into that work, directing a production of Strange Snow, a story about Vietnam veterans, and dedicating the production to Vietnam veterans.

It was another example of Pastore turning an experience into something larger than himself.

The Musician and Entertainer

Music had been part of Pastore’s life long before many people knew him as an actor. His band,

The Gangster Squad included musicians who played at his nightclub in the 1980s. They weren't simply bandmates. They were longtime friends and people who had been part of Pastore’s life for decades. Some included Frank Pisaani, Charlie Powers, Eddie Denise, and Killer Joe (Ferraro).

That love of music eventually became an unexpected advantage in his acting career. One of the stories Pastore loved to tell was about his audition for Woody Allen's Bullets Over Broadway. Pastore auditioned by singing “Where and When,” and his performance caught Allen's attention. Allen looked up and told him he didn't know Pastore could sing.

Pastore, naturally, couldn't resist the opportunity for a joke. “I'm a soprano,” he told him.

Pastore got the job.

The Man Behind the Character

Perhaps the greatest gift of sitting down with Vincent Pastore was discovering the man behind the familiar face.

The public knew Big Pussy.

They knew the mobster roles.

But there was another Vinny.

The Vinny who cared about his students.

The Vinny who remembered his mother.

The Vinny who supported veterans.

The Vinny who raised money for cancer research.

The Vinny who continued working with Parkinson's charities.

The Vinny who loved theater.

The Vinny who wanted to help another actor get their break.

And the Vinny, who, even after achieving enormous success, continued to say that there was more he wanted to accomplish.

A Final Look Back

When we filmed this interview in 2021, Pastore was looking toward the future. He talked about acting. He talked about teaching. He talked about theater. He talked about upcoming projects.

He talked about his students and what he hoped they would accomplish. He talked about getting back on stage. He talked about working. He was, as he put it, happy to be alive after losing close friends to COVID.

Five years later, we look back on those words differently. Vincent Pastore passed away on August 1, 2026, at the age of 80. His representatives confirmed his death, and those close to him remembered him as kind, generous, and always willing to help others.

The character of Big Pussy may have made Pastore famous. But his life was defined by much more than one character. He was an actor who never stopped learning. A teacher who wanted his students to succeed. A veteran who understood service. A philanthropist who believed in giving back.

And a New York personality who made people laugh, made people feel welcome, and made a difference in the lives of those fortunate enough to know him.

Above is an interview capturing Vincent Pastore at a time when he felt great and was still looking forward to tomorrow during the 2021 pandemic. Today, it stands as a special time capsule—a chance to hear his voice, see his smile, and remember the man behind the legend.

Rest in peace, Vinny. You will be missed, and you will never be forgotten.

This article is dedicated to his daughter and family, his extended Sopranos family, close friends, and neighbors who shared his remarkable journey.